The Truth About Finding Your Voice (That No One Tells You)

Last night, a friend and I chatted about all things voice and expression. After a few moments, she leaned in and asked "So… what advice do you have to help one actually find their voice"?

"Well…" I replied. "The first place I would start is to realise that you actually already have a voice, even if it doesn't feel like it. The real work isn't finding it—it's unpacking the stories and beliefs that are stopping you from trusting the voice that you already have".

The Hidden Stories That Hold Us Back

Even though it often doesn’t feel like it, we all have a voice. But for many of us, it lies buried under layers of self-doubt, comparisons to others who seem more "professional" and just plain fear.

Somewhere along the way, we started believing that our voice wasn’t good enough and was something we therefore needed to “discover”. As if it existed somewhere outside of ourselves. We got caught up in the idea that we needed to study, analyse and successfully emulate others, before we could truly be heard.

I am incredibly guilty of this.

I spent years trying to emulate other speakers, particularly the high-energy, commanding presence types, like the incredible Tony Robbins. I'd push myself to match his explosive, energetic style. The result? I would end up exhausted, disconnected from my audiences and ironically, less heard than ever.

I wasn’t Tony. I was Andi. And no amount of trying to copy Tony’s style was going to help me be a better speaker, or help me step into my own genuine voice.

I needed to start embracing who I was and how I naturally spoke. And trust that I already had a powerful voice that could have just as much impact.

And the result? My relationship with my voice completely changed.

Finding Your Hidden stories

Think about the last time you were chatting with a close friend about something you're passionate about. You probably didn’t worry about how you sounded, or stop to analyse your word choice and tone. You were just… you, letting your ideas and words flow.

But here's where it gets interesting—those moments of natural expression often feel too simple or unpolished for using your voice in an important setting. We start telling ourselves things like:

"I need to sound more professional/polished/perfect to deliver this message right."

"I hate how my voice sounds and others will hate it, too."

“Who am I to speak about this - they won’t take me seriously.”

The more we repeat these stories, the more they become our truth. They shape every conversation, every presentation and how we feel about ourselves when we step into the spotlight.

Change your stories, change your voice.

So, how do we change these hidden stories and embrace our natural voices?

It begins with awareness - noticing when you're holding back. When you're trying to sound "more professional" or editing yourself before you let yourself speak.

Then, ask yourself: What story am I believing right now that's making me think my natural voice isn't enough?

What would it feel like to trust that I already have a voice and that my natural way of speaking is powerful enough?

When you question your old beliefs instead of believing them: everything shifts. You start to create new neural pathways in your brain that help you to trust and embrace your natural voice. And people lean in to listen, because they are drawn in by your authenticity and heart-felt genuineness.

This is where magic happens: You realise you had a powerful voice all along, and all that was needed was for you to embrace it.

- Andi xo